Each year, I don’t so much watch the Academy Awards, as swallow them whole over three weeks. I wade through nearly all the nominated films (aside from musicals and contemporary royal biopics) in most of the categories, bar the shorts, animations, and documentaries. This is normally quite a burden. In 2022 I watched Dune, Coda, Belfast, Don’t Look Up, Drive My Car, Licorice Pizza, Nightmare Alley, The Power of the Dog, Being the Ricardos, The Tragedy of Macbeth, The Eyes of Tammy Faye, The Lost Daughter, Parallel Mothers, The Worst Person in the World, The Hand of God, Cyrano, No Time to Die, and Spiderman No Way Home. Eighteen films. And yet the awards, themselves, leave me cold. For one, they fluff their lines in almost every category. These awards have always been a political football, a battlefield where bête-noires and sacred cows are whipped, driven and corralled before the tribes of America; where in the day’s delirium lesser films, because they assuage WASP guilt or appeal to the judges’ sensibilities, can triumph. It was ever thus. History will prove me, or others wrong, but a cursory look back shows some great works of cinema falling to pap like My Fair Lady.

But beyond these gripes—and don’t even get me started on the over commercialised show itself—something niggles: the awards themselves. The same damn categories, year on year. The whole thing needs shaking up and even if it means a longer show, perhaps over two nights, it would platform more people making cinema today, which can only be a good thing.

So here are my ideas for new categories:

Best arthouse film: experimental, risk-taking work from auteurs should get a nod from the academy as they are the lifeblood of cinema. 

Best low budget film under $50000: would highlight the grassroots of filmmaking and make it a little less of a cosy club. I’d have lots of nominees for this category. 

Best blockbuster movie: given the popularity of Marvel, DC, James Bond and all the other franchises isn’t it time these big budget behemoths are recognised? Who doesn’t love a damn good movie?

Best comedy: Anyone can make a tragedy. A successful comedy is that rarest of things. They are almost designed to fail. So, the best each year should be recognised in the hope we can nurture more laughter in this cold, dark, world of ours.

Best scene: A celebration of the grammar of cinema. The great thing about this category would be you could play the actual judged nominees before the reveal.

Best cast: Collectively, holistically, synergistically.

Best opening credits: One of my favourite things on celluloid is that Saul Bass opening to Psycho. And numerous starts to James Bond films. Stuff that gets the blood pumping and makes you lean forward in your seat. The academy should encourage more of this.

Best dialogue: a sub-category of best screenplay. Tarantino would be giving everyone a run for their money.

Best non-verbal sequence: Much of the art of cinema is revealed non-verbally. These moments should be praised. The Oscars shouldn’t be about what to watch, but why you should watch it.

Best mis-en-scene: an overlapping award of lighting, art production, makeup, costume, cinematography, and camera work. Wes Anderson would do well.